Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Randomize
