Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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