she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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