Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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