He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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