Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
