Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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