yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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