I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
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