the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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