No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
