sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
party gras won. party gras always wins.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
