I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
3 2 1 whiskey
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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