the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
