I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
