living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Do vagina's smell?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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