He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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