Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
