I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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