I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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