If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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