as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
