Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize