Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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