i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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