dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
