Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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