Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
