Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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