I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
