who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
