Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
The feeling are messing with the penis
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize