My room smells like vodka and shame
i think my tv is drunk
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
third nipple confirmed
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
