happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
