She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
