You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
