an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
