How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
