"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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