he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
