I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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