really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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