what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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