He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize