i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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