Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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