Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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