the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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