I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
