My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize