xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
