Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
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