dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
