I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
