he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
