Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
