she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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