What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
