Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
