I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
They are going to name an STD after you.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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