No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
