so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
vagina is talking i cant
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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