Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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