So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Of course I have a pirate flag
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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