An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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