well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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