We had to coat check the pizza.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
