She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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