What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
