the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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