So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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