I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
