woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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