Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
